“BITACHON”
Trust
Blessed be the one who trusts in the Lord
and the Lord will be his source of trust.
Jeremiah 17
By activating trust in God,
we transform ourselves into
fearless, loving beings.
Trust in God gives rise to
tranquility and fearlessness
that will make you a better friend,
spouse, parent, co-worker, citizen
and just about every other role you play in your life.
Alan Morinis
“Everyday Holiness”
Enough of this god stuff I am thinking, okay, get over it, spirit, universe, higher power. OK. The one thing that I have to remember the most – trust myself. It is a tool that I have built for many years. It is easy to see when it doesn’t happen. Things fall to hell and there and dire consequences. If it is too good to be true, it is. No question. Hard and fast rule. Whenever I have ignored that, I get busted. It is not so easy to see when you do it. You don’t necessarily get that feeling inside, wait, hold on, well, maybe. When you do it, it is easy. Most often without fanfare, you go through it, and you get what you want and you move it. It is supposed to be easy.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Compassion
ohnjr
Compassion
Kindness, empathy and care
arise from standing so close
feeling what the other feels.
Compassion is the feeling of empathy
which the pain of one being of itself
awakens in another;
and the higher and more human the beings are,
the more keenly attuned are they to re-echo
the note of suffering which,
like a voice from heaven,
penetrates the heart.
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch
Recently I experienced a situation in which I was clearly wronged. I tried to be thoughtful and understanding about the situation but I hope I was also tough. I am not sure if I was heard but I tried to understand why the situation happened and help everyone grow. Going back to responsibility, it was my responsibility to call this to attention and try to make the situation right. It was also my responsibility to understand that it is hard, that we don’t always make the right decisions, god knows I don’t. That our actions provoke reactions. I can only say that I experienced a similar situation when I was young. I wish that I had had someone talk to me, try to make it right and move on rather than be deemed a criminal, probably still to this day. Hopefully words sank in – time will tell.
Compassion
Kindness, empathy and care
arise from standing so close
feeling what the other feels.
Compassion is the feeling of empathy
which the pain of one being of itself
awakens in another;
and the higher and more human the beings are,
the more keenly attuned are they to re-echo
the note of suffering which,
like a voice from heaven,
penetrates the heart.
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch
Recently I experienced a situation in which I was clearly wronged. I tried to be thoughtful and understanding about the situation but I hope I was also tough. I am not sure if I was heard but I tried to understand why the situation happened and help everyone grow. Going back to responsibility, it was my responsibility to call this to attention and try to make the situation right. It was also my responsibility to understand that it is hard, that we don’t always make the right decisions, god knows I don’t. That our actions provoke reactions. I can only say that I experienced a similar situation when I was young. I wish that I had had someone talk to me, try to make it right and move on rather than be deemed a criminal, probably still to this day. Hopefully words sank in – time will tell.
Responsibility
,uhrjt
Responsibility
First a person should put their
house together,
then their town,
then the world.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter
To elevate your soul in the direction of holiness,
you have to become more skilled
at anticipating the consequences of your actions
and taking responsibility
for the details in all areas where you make choices.
Alan Morinis
“Everyday Holiness”
Mussar Memo is a message of the week, day, month that is thought, prayer, validation that one can remember to help elevate themselves, work on themselves. In this case I am going to write what it means to me…
Ignoring the religious aspect, since I don’t have a religious bone in my body I am focusing on spirit and how I choose to live my life. I don’t know that I can properly express how I feel about religion. For me it feels like a noose, an exclusive club and in order to belong, one must do or say 1,2,3. My god doesn’t bother with all that nonsense, he/she/it wants me to be the best I can be. Not even sure that I even agree with the term “my god”. More like the universe or spirit.
Pertaining to this mussar of responsibility. I am often baffled by people who complain that they have too much work to do or that because they are asked to do something, perform some task that they are somehow being asked to change who they are. Above all I know that nothing will change who I am unless I decide that I am going to change – allow new thoughts and messages to inform and elevate me. Being responsible means doing the right thing, doing what needs to be done. For example, everyone wants to be praised or get a prize for doing something good, or doing the right thing. To me it seems you get the prize in the satisfaction of knowing that you did the right thing, not in doing it for the prize. Maybe it’s just me, or that I am silly.
Being responsible also means doing the hard things because they must be done, saying the hard things and yes, saying the good things. I do not do as well on this one as I should. Perhaps that is why I am focusing on it so that I can be aware and try, try. I always am thoughtful, in that I think. I become weary and bothered so yes I have work to do. Again, no one changes unless they want to.
To elevate your soul in the direction of enlightenment – for me is a better term than holiness one must become more skilled at anticipating the consequences of their actions and taking responsibility
for the details in all areas where you make choices. For me I have always spoken first and thought later. I am starting to anticipate consequences of my words, especially my words. I am trying to have an awareness of the consequences of my actions. Breathe. Often times it is in the details of my choices that I haven’t realized the consequences. Sometimes it is a word, a look, a gesture, or lack of that prompts a reaction. Lord knows I have experienced my own consequences to my stupid actions, but also to the good ones. At least I am trying to be aware and thought-ful and hopefully I can be more responsible in my actions and my words.
Responsibility
First a person should put their
house together,
then their town,
then the world.
Rabbi Yisrael Salanter
To elevate your soul in the direction of holiness,
you have to become more skilled
at anticipating the consequences of your actions
and taking responsibility
for the details in all areas where you make choices.
Alan Morinis
“Everyday Holiness”
Mussar Memo is a message of the week, day, month that is thought, prayer, validation that one can remember to help elevate themselves, work on themselves. In this case I am going to write what it means to me…
Ignoring the religious aspect, since I don’t have a religious bone in my body I am focusing on spirit and how I choose to live my life. I don’t know that I can properly express how I feel about religion. For me it feels like a noose, an exclusive club and in order to belong, one must do or say 1,2,3. My god doesn’t bother with all that nonsense, he/she/it wants me to be the best I can be. Not even sure that I even agree with the term “my god”. More like the universe or spirit.
Pertaining to this mussar of responsibility. I am often baffled by people who complain that they have too much work to do or that because they are asked to do something, perform some task that they are somehow being asked to change who they are. Above all I know that nothing will change who I am unless I decide that I am going to change – allow new thoughts and messages to inform and elevate me. Being responsible means doing the right thing, doing what needs to be done. For example, everyone wants to be praised or get a prize for doing something good, or doing the right thing. To me it seems you get the prize in the satisfaction of knowing that you did the right thing, not in doing it for the prize. Maybe it’s just me, or that I am silly.
Being responsible also means doing the hard things because they must be done, saying the hard things and yes, saying the good things. I do not do as well on this one as I should. Perhaps that is why I am focusing on it so that I can be aware and try, try. I always am thoughtful, in that I think. I become weary and bothered so yes I have work to do. Again, no one changes unless they want to.
To elevate your soul in the direction of enlightenment – for me is a better term than holiness one must become more skilled at anticipating the consequences of their actions and taking responsibility
for the details in all areas where you make choices. For me I have always spoken first and thought later. I am starting to anticipate consequences of my words, especially my words. I am trying to have an awareness of the consequences of my actions. Breathe. Often times it is in the details of my choices that I haven’t realized the consequences. Sometimes it is a word, a look, a gesture, or lack of that prompts a reaction. Lord knows I have experienced my own consequences to my stupid actions, but also to the good ones. At least I am trying to be aware and thought-ful and hopefully I can be more responsible in my actions and my words.
Ten words - Just the Way I Am
Ten words
Rose, blood, vanity, decrepit, future, connect, soul, clean, gift, just
Seems to be the word of the day
Rose
I don’t know why
Just the way I am
Played a game with my
Vanity last night
Saw my future
No decrepit body
Only a gifted soul
Re-invented and manifested
Connected with my vision
A gift to myself
As sure the blood that runs through my veins
I know it – direct line
It is already here
I already have it
Pure and clean
Living my vision
Just the way I am
Rose, blood, vanity, decrepit, future, connect, soul, clean, gift, just
Seems to be the word of the day
Rose
I don’t know why
Just the way I am
Played a game with my
Vanity last night
Saw my future
No decrepit body
Only a gifted soul
Re-invented and manifested
Connected with my vision
A gift to myself
As sure the blood that runs through my veins
I know it – direct line
It is already here
I already have it
Pure and clean
Living my vision
Just the way I am
The Bitch is Back
So many bitches
You don’t necessarily get ahead
By being nice
All the time
Sometimes you get screwed
Today my bitch is coming out
Stand up for yourself
Speak your mind
No one else
Will do it for you
Others take for themselves
It’s time for you to do the same
Tried to find my
Right to write
I think I must be on
The right track
Since it was all
Same same same
Getting ready for
A new experience
New country – new culture
New people
We shall see
Trying to continue on my path
I think I am coping
That is the best word
Best that I can do
At this time
Defining my goals
Shaping my future
Who knows what it will hold
What I will manifest
Whatever it is
Will be great
You don’t necessarily get ahead
By being nice
All the time
Sometimes you get screwed
Today my bitch is coming out
Stand up for yourself
Speak your mind
No one else
Will do it for you
Others take for themselves
It’s time for you to do the same
Tried to find my
Right to write
I think I must be on
The right track
Since it was all
Same same same
Getting ready for
A new experience
New country – new culture
New people
We shall see
Trying to continue on my path
I think I am coping
That is the best word
Best that I can do
At this time
Defining my goals
Shaping my future
Who knows what it will hold
What I will manifest
Whatever it is
Will be great
Friday, October 23, 2009
Connect
It’s true I am a frustrated soul
Can hardly believe that some
Are ruled by their own idiocy
No hope for growing
And yet I find myself
In their pattern
Disconnect
I am trying
To live my own reality
Without boundaries and
Little white lies
I have nothing to cover up
No reason to hide
It is what it is
I am who I am
I know who I am
Taking care of me today
The business of being me
It is a busy job
Swirling twirling
Breathe
Focus
Remember who I am
Sometimes I wonder
Who are what
I would have been
Had I had a father
Or if it is important
At all
I met him once
Lacking expectation
Not disappointed
Or surprised
Confirmed my belief
The grass is greener
I realized
Since then
That we don’t notice
How green the grass
We stand on
Little Napoleon is back
Flitting and flailing
Twisting in uncertainty
And self doubt
Reaching inside myself
To disconnect
Again, that is not my reality
You may not board this ship
It has sailed
Focusing on MY higher power
Whatever and wherever
That is
Focus and it will come
Change your focus
I didn’t come back to
To live small
To not live large
How dare I
Shrink
And not be fabulous
How dare I!
Can hardly believe that some
Are ruled by their own idiocy
No hope for growing
And yet I find myself
In their pattern
Disconnect
I am trying
To live my own reality
Without boundaries and
Little white lies
I have nothing to cover up
No reason to hide
It is what it is
I am who I am
I know who I am
Taking care of me today
The business of being me
It is a busy job
Swirling twirling
Breathe
Focus
Remember who I am
Sometimes I wonder
Who are what
I would have been
Had I had a father
Or if it is important
At all
I met him once
Lacking expectation
Not disappointed
Or surprised
Confirmed my belief
The grass is greener
I realized
Since then
That we don’t notice
How green the grass
We stand on
Little Napoleon is back
Flitting and flailing
Twisting in uncertainty
And self doubt
Reaching inside myself
To disconnect
Again, that is not my reality
You may not board this ship
It has sailed
Focusing on MY higher power
Whatever and wherever
That is
Focus and it will come
Change your focus
I didn’t come back to
To live small
To not live large
How dare I
Shrink
And not be fabulous
How dare I!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Om
Trying hard to manage my demons today
If nothing else
Going through the motions
Breathe and move through it
Hard enough without the little Napolean
Wannabe
Trying to counsel and teach
My heart and ears are not open to that
I am sorry
Not from you
I have my own path
Today I am trying to choose
Compassion
Do not rush
I tell myself
To judge and snap
Snapping turtles are no fun
Breathe and move through it
Is my mantra for today
Breathe and move through it
Om
If nothing else
Going through the motions
Breathe and move through it
Hard enough without the little Napolean
Wannabe
Trying to counsel and teach
My heart and ears are not open to that
I am sorry
Not from you
I have my own path
Today I am trying to choose
Compassion
Do not rush
I tell myself
To judge and snap
Snapping turtles are no fun
Breathe and move through it
Is my mantra for today
Breathe and move through it
Om
Friday, October 16, 2009
Try this on
The old woman sits topless, reminiscing, by the pool.
She is ancient, a renegade, non-conformist.
Nowadays they were calling them modern day women.
Disgusted at the thought, they didn’t even know what that meant.
Where was I fifty, even sixty years ago, she wonders.
I was a growing concern at fifty, she confesses, in trouble at every turn.
Hell, she thinks, I would have had fun here even thirty years ago.
Where is that damn kid anyway?
Thirty years old and he is still, will always be a kid.
In her eyes. Ah, yes, her failing eyes.
He has left her momentarily to fend for herself in this faraway lust haven.
Mindless, off on loftier pursuits of fulfilling the flesh.
What had she been thinking of anyway?
Oh hell, it didn’t really matter even if she could remember.
She would be doing more at this age, if she could, more than the kid could even imagine, her grandson that is.
The light of her life – at this stage of the game at least.
It was true, she had been there, and done that.
Just try me, she’d say.
Try me on for size was more like it.
Yet, here she sits naked, unknowingly in front of the live internet cam for all the world to see.
Maybe her kids would see, she later wickedly thinks.
Perhaps her senses were failing her too – oh hell she quickly retorts.
At least I won’t know the difference.
For now she sits, content, knowing that yes, she had been there, and done that.
She is ancient, a renegade, non-conformist.
Nowadays they were calling them modern day women.
Disgusted at the thought, they didn’t even know what that meant.
Where was I fifty, even sixty years ago, she wonders.
I was a growing concern at fifty, she confesses, in trouble at every turn.
Hell, she thinks, I would have had fun here even thirty years ago.
Where is that damn kid anyway?
Thirty years old and he is still, will always be a kid.
In her eyes. Ah, yes, her failing eyes.
He has left her momentarily to fend for herself in this faraway lust haven.
Mindless, off on loftier pursuits of fulfilling the flesh.
What had she been thinking of anyway?
Oh hell, it didn’t really matter even if she could remember.
She would be doing more at this age, if she could, more than the kid could even imagine, her grandson that is.
The light of her life – at this stage of the game at least.
It was true, she had been there, and done that.
Just try me, she’d say.
Try me on for size was more like it.
Yet, here she sits naked, unknowingly in front of the live internet cam for all the world to see.
Maybe her kids would see, she later wickedly thinks.
Perhaps her senses were failing her too – oh hell she quickly retorts.
At least I won’t know the difference.
For now she sits, content, knowing that yes, she had been there, and done that.
Reflections
As I reflect here
In this place I think
This life of mine
So full of hope
Nothing profound
I take on this role
It is time to join humanity
That which is my own,
Own it, own myself
Leave the rest of it
Behind
Do not despair
I must remind myself
All in a day
One at a time
Words ring true
And on and on
Constant rule
How do you use
Accept and destroy
In the same sentence
I ask myself
Lost in my thoughts
In this place I think
This life of mine
So full of hope
Nothing profound
I take on this role
It is time to join humanity
That which is my own,
Own it, own myself
Leave the rest of it
Behind
Do not despair
I must remind myself
All in a day
One at a time
Words ring true
And on and on
Constant rule
How do you use
Accept and destroy
In the same sentence
I ask myself
Lost in my thoughts
Golden
I am alive in this madness
This comedy of errors
So divine
From every direction
A new slant
Sly and conniving bite
Their words are filled with contempt
I won’t go that way
I keep holding on
This life is mine
I choose a road
Less traveled
Fair haired and
softly
Spoken
Baby boy
I am called
Love and kisses
A surprise I think
Of his golden
Wiry mane
How are you
I am alive so I guess
I am great
By the way
How are
You?
This comedy of errors
So divine
From every direction
A new slant
Sly and conniving bite
Their words are filled with contempt
I won’t go that way
I keep holding on
This life is mine
I choose a road
Less traveled
Fair haired and
softly
Spoken
Baby boy
I am called
Love and kisses
A surprise I think
Of his golden
Wiry mane
How are you
I am alive so I guess
I am great
By the way
How are
You?
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Be Dazzled
Listening to a song today
I got something
That I have been hearing for so long
Can’t remember the name now
Interesting how it is
Something so moving
Gone in an instant
Hearing forever
Listening today
Trying to rise myself above
And beyond
My own threshold
What can I do
Where can I go
Prepare to be dazzled
I remind myself
And bedazzled
Luck is preparation
Meets opportunity
Thinking about the other day
When my own flesh
Walked on mine
To raise herself
Anger shines
Thoughtfulness prevails
I got something
That I have been hearing for so long
Can’t remember the name now
Interesting how it is
Something so moving
Gone in an instant
Hearing forever
Listening today
Trying to rise myself above
And beyond
My own threshold
What can I do
Where can I go
Prepare to be dazzled
I remind myself
And bedazzled
Luck is preparation
Meets opportunity
Thinking about the other day
When my own flesh
Walked on mine
To raise herself
Anger shines
Thoughtfulness prevails
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Scavengers
Studied my zz pattern last night
Scrambled brains
Too much time to think
Sharing my experience
Once again I feel like a punching bag
Those who are supposed to care
Abuse and pick
Like a scavenger bird
Circling its prey
It isn’t the first time
I try to take the high road
And not respond
Can’t help feeling hurt
Notice I don’t point out
Punch back
There is a reason
For everything
I tell myself
I moved on for a purpose
Other than this
Fly higher
Scrambled brains
Too much time to think
Sharing my experience
Once again I feel like a punching bag
Those who are supposed to care
Abuse and pick
Like a scavenger bird
Circling its prey
It isn’t the first time
I try to take the high road
And not respond
Can’t help feeling hurt
Notice I don’t point out
Punch back
There is a reason
For everything
I tell myself
I moved on for a purpose
Other than this
Fly higher
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The Witching Hour
Trying to be inspired today
To write, write
See the light
Maybe I just might
Get someplace today
Done with the mundane
See your future
Create it
It is in your hands
Keep waking up
In the hour of the dead
I am told
The witching hour
I prefer not to be dead
Just yet
I see a life that is not mine
For better or worse
Looking through a prism
I see this life
Through rose colored glasses
I am trying to tilt my vision
To gain a new perspective
The world is larger than it seems
And smaller than we perceive
Open your mind
The universe has been laughing at me
I just realized
Be careful what you wish for
You got it
To write, write
See the light
Maybe I just might
Get someplace today
Done with the mundane
See your future
Create it
It is in your hands
Keep waking up
In the hour of the dead
I am told
The witching hour
I prefer not to be dead
Just yet
I see a life that is not mine
For better or worse
Looking through a prism
I see this life
Through rose colored glasses
I am trying to tilt my vision
To gain a new perspective
The world is larger than it seems
And smaller than we perceive
Open your mind
The universe has been laughing at me
I just realized
Be careful what you wish for
You got it
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Synchronicity
Synchronicity
Precocious me
Just completed reading
America’s Sweetheart
Half Pint
More normal than I could have imagined
I was always jealous of her
With my Robby
Like Ro with her Tommy
She said it exactly right
He’s just so pretty
Me chomping at the bit
Need to get away from here
Definitely not my taste or style
What lesson am I learning
From this experience
I was reading notes from a class
I got what I asked for
Scary all the way around
Multiple homes, adored by a man
Job where I can write
I realize the need
To be very specific
There will always be bumps
The trick is to learn
To navigate, right?
What is the purpose of this date
9/9/09
I was thinking about it earlier
Then I heard about synchronicity and loving
One another, respect
Walked into this place
R said to me
You must like today’s date
9/9/9
It does have meaning, she nodded
I wondered how she knew
Synchronicity
It wasn’t an accident
I realized
Maybe I am in the right place?
Maybe I am asking the right questions….
Precocious me
Just completed reading
America’s Sweetheart
Half Pint
More normal than I could have imagined
I was always jealous of her
With my Robby
Like Ro with her Tommy
She said it exactly right
He’s just so pretty
Me chomping at the bit
Need to get away from here
Definitely not my taste or style
What lesson am I learning
From this experience
I was reading notes from a class
I got what I asked for
Scary all the way around
Multiple homes, adored by a man
Job where I can write
I realize the need
To be very specific
There will always be bumps
The trick is to learn
To navigate, right?
What is the purpose of this date
9/9/09
I was thinking about it earlier
Then I heard about synchronicity and loving
One another, respect
Walked into this place
R said to me
You must like today’s date
9/9/9
It does have meaning, she nodded
I wondered how she knew
Synchronicity
It wasn’t an accident
I realized
Maybe I am in the right place?
Maybe I am asking the right questions….
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